He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
