Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
