I think I am morally bankrupt
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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