I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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