He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
