so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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