Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
