Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
