no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
