When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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