I CAN MOONWALK!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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