She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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