Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
