so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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