I am puke
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
