Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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