I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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