i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
