dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize