based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
