i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize