haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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