It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize