cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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