Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
