mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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