I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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