ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
