oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
