Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
