you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
