i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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