My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
