I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
