I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I touched a dick in church today
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
