I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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