wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
