She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Say something about gay babies.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
