oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
