I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
