first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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