she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize