my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize