I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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