She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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