Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
