she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
