So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
