Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
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She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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