Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence