So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...