Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i only hope i can top last weeks sext session

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(313): i only hope i can top last weeks sext session http://tfl.nu/3g0x

Replies (1) Good night (2753) Bad night (1335)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.

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(865): And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly. http://tfl.nu/a3gz

Replies (21) Good night (5910) Bad night (861)
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(616): View more from Michigan

You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.

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(616): You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls. http://tfl.nu/v76g

Replies (9) Good night (5193) Bad night (1898)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.

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(301): I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation. http://tfl.nu/sh4c

Replies (19) Good night (3244) Bad night (1291)
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(573): View more from Missouri

If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing

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(573): If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing http://tfl.nu/6uck

Replies (10) Good night (2452) Bad night (905)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

True on all accounts.

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(702): I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me. (1-702): True on all accounts. http://tfl.nu/tt9s

Replies (13) Good night (3581) Bad night (1060)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.

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(970): Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day. http://tfl.nu/cvyh

Replies (10) Good night (1464) Bad night (1354)
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(305): View more from Florida

Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.

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(305): Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin. http://tfl.nu/eiwf

Replies (12) Good night (1121) Bad night (1429)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."

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(248): Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent." http://tfl.nu/u4zv

Replies (7) Good night (1757) Bad night (555)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab

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(402): Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab http://tfl.nu/rn99

Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (431)
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(206): View more from Washington

Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.

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(206): Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious. http://tfl.nu/0zzq

Replies (8) Good night (851) Bad night (462)
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(440): View more from Ohio

literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.

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(440): literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck. http://tfl.nu/514p

Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (414)
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(619): View more from California

You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch

(1-619): View more from California

Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.

(619): View more from California

Love you...

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(619): You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch (1-619): Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you. (619): Love you... http://tfl.nu/dldo

Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (522)
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(858): View more from California

I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"

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(858): I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well" http://tfl.nu/9o99

Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (304)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine

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(937): I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine http://tfl.nu/5cyu

Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (328)

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