Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
