the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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