I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So. Much. Porn.
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