# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
