I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
