we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
