If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize