At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
