____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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