Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
